Three Good Things: Small Habit Helping Us Find More Joy

Lately, I have started doing something simple with my four-year-old at bedtime: we name three good things from our day.

They do not have to be important, impressive, or particularly meaningful. A good thing might be eating a favorite snack, playing outside, making the baby laugh, watching a show together, or getting extra time with Mommy.

Although, if I am being completely honest, when I ask my son to name three good things, his answer is often:

“Minecraft, Minecraft, and Minecraft.”

At first, I was tempted to encourage him to come up with three different answers. But the purpose is not for him to perform gratitude correctly. If Minecraft was genuinely the best part of his day, that tells me something about what brought him joy.

The practice does not have to be deep to be meaningful. Sometimes gratitude looks like connection and reflection. Sometimes it looks like a four-year-old enthusiastically naming the same video game three times.

Finding the Good Without Ignoring the Hard

Life with young children can feel loud, repetitive, and overstimulating. Some days include meltdowns, rushed mornings, sibling chaos, bedtime resistance, and the feeling that I spent the entire day responding to someone else’s needs.

Naming three good things does not erase those difficult moments. It does not require us to pretend everything was wonderful.

Instead, it helps us remember that a hard day can still contain good moments.

We can acknowledge that bedtime was difficult and still remember the funny thing he said at dinner. We can admit that we lost our patience and still recognize the moment we reconnected. Both can be true.

Gratitude is not about forcing positivity. It is about helping our minds notice the whole picture.

Why “Three Good Things” Can Help

Our brains are naturally quick to remember problems. We replay the embarrassing moment, the argument, the mistake, or the thing that did not get done. This ability helps us recognize danger and learn from experience but it can also make the difficult parts of a day feel like the entire day.

The “Three Good Things” practice gently directs our attention toward moments we may otherwise overlook.

For children, it can help build emotional awareness and create a predictable opportunity to talk. It also gives parents a small glimpse into what their child values and remembers, even when what they value most is Minecraft.

For adults, it offers a pause. Instead of ending the day mentally reviewing everything that went wrong, we intentionally look for moments of connection, comfort, humor, or progress.

Over time, I hope this practice helps my son learn that joy is not something we have to wait for. It can be found in ordinary moments.

How We Do It

At bedtime, I simply ask:

“What were three good things about today?”

If he has trouble answering, I might ask:

• What made you smile today?

• What was your favorite thing we did?
  

• Who did you enjoy spending time with?

• What would you want to do again?

• What was something good that happened before Minecraft?

I try not to correct his answers or steer him toward what I think he should appreciate. The goal is not to teach him the “right” things to be grateful for. It is to help him recognize what felt good or meaningful to him.

I share my three things too. Sometimes one of mine is a moment with him. Other times, it is something completely ordinary like drinking my coffee while it was still warm, finishing a task, or finally sitting down after a long day.

I think sharing my own answers matters. It turns the practice into something we do together, rather than another question he has to answer before bed.

Bringing the Practice Into Our Family

I recently downloaded an app called Gratitude Plus because I would like to start doing this more consistently with my family.

My hope is not to create one more obligation that everyone has to complete perfectly. I want it to become a shared place where we can notice and remember the good parts of our lives, even during stressful seasons.

I love the idea of looking back and seeing a collection of small moments that might otherwise have been forgotten.

Maybe gratitude becomes easier when we stop treating it like a performance. It does not require a perfect mindset, a beautiful journal, or a life without stress.

Sometimes it is simply sitting beside your four-year-old at the end of a messy day and asking:

“What were three good things?”

Even if the answer is “Minecraft, Minecraft, and Minecraft.”

And then realizing you needed the question just as much as they did.